Corn Dog Ranch

liezlwashere: Clay of the Day | 03.08.10 Meen Bellpeppers the...

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 13:27:31 -0800

Clay of the Day | 03.08.10

Meen Bellpeppers the Carrot Farmer Edition

This is my clay tribute to my buddy, Ameen.
The man of a billion doppelgangers.
The lover of burritos.
The wearer of fez hats.

legend has it that where ameen steps, plants sprout. oh wait, that isn’t a legend, it really happened.

folia - like myspace for friendsters

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 12:07:34 -0800

folia - like myspace for friendsters:

there’s a new social networking site just for gardeners. it also looks like everyone within 50 miles of me logged into this site once and never used it again, but hopefully i can use this to keep track of what i’m planting. the excel spreadsheets were abandoned months ago.

(via drowsybutcher) probably the best thing ever

Sun, 07 Mar 2010 20:30:10 -0800

(via drowsybutcher)

probably the best thing ever

how to pick peas (a long article written solely to support one terrible joke)

Fri, 05 Mar 2010 14:06:00 -0800

first, grow some peas. they’ll be flowers before they’ll be pea pods, but they’ll still taste like peas. (they do! try them on salad! don’t eat sweet pea flowers or peas though. those look like peas but are actually poisonous.)

when your peas are ready, use scissors to cut them off the plant. (don’t pull them off the stem, the plants are too delicate.) shell them, steam/boil/scatter on salad/put them in a bowl/etc and eat them. but what does a pea pod that’s ready to eat look like?

would you go with the left or right pods? the ones on the right are nice and plump, and when i asked my boyfriend last night which ones he’d eat he chose the ones on the right. these are not the peas you want to eat! you want the ones on the left. when your peas look like the ones on the right, they’re really only good for saving to plant or for drying and using in soup. they’re starchy, dry, and sometimes even a little bitter. the ones on the left are juicy, sweet, and taste like concentrated springtime.

so remember…

don’t eat these peas!

eat these ones! they are delicious, good for you, and full of green pea-ness. they will fill your mouth with a peanessy flavor. you’ll have their pea-ness on the brain for days after! in fact, some people might call you pea-ness obssessed. JESUS CHRIST WHY DO PEOPLE STILL LET ME ON THE INTERNET

the first peas of the year. tiny, but delicious. 2 rows of the...

Fri, 05 Mar 2010 13:14:55 -0800

the first peas of the year. tiny, but delicious. 2 rows of the pea plants are completely covered in pods, and in 2 weeks the other plants should be ready too. hopefully it’s nice and warm today and tomorrow so more peas are ready to pick on sunday.

pizzwizzler: In honor of a special day. Try to spot all 37 of...

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 16:45:11 -0800

pizzwizzler:

In honor of a special day. Try to spot all 37 of the dicks Dante’s girlfriend, Veronica has sucked in this photo.

some of them are even in a row

liezlwashere: Angel’s Point at Elysian Park | Los Angeles, CA |...

Wed, 03 Mar 2010 19:20:07 -0800

liezlwashere:

Angel’s Point at Elysian Park | Los Angeles, CA | 02.28.10

(via heather)

i got a delicious breakfast with liezl on sunday morning courtesy monsieur egg (KNEEL BEFORE MONSIEUR EGG), and i got to indulge my heritage by taking pictures of someone taking pictures. (i swear i saw japanese people do this in hawaii all the time when i lived there. i also lived there from 1990-1993. jesus god that was a long ass time ago)

recent harvests

Wed, 03 Mar 2010 11:39:00 -0800

here’s some stuff i grew!

a baby watermelon radish and mignon/purple haze baby carrots. the purple haze ones have an orange core but the outsides turn purple as they get bigger. did you know wild carrots were purple? the dutch domesticated them and turned them orange in the 15th century as a tribute to the king, because orange is their national color. i told my boyfriend this when i showed him my carrots. he was silent for a second and went “that’s a really weird random thing to know”. this is a guy who will enter and win trivia contests with me, who doesn’t blink an eye when i can answer every single question in a round of jeopardy, who i have dated for 4 YEARS and all of a sudden he’s realizing that holy shit, his girlfriend knows a lot of weird stuff about various topics? i think i said HEY SHUT UP and fake-stomped away. i love you andrew. 4 MORE YEARS 4 MORE YEARS

the most ocd salad.

2 heads of “4 seasons” butter lettuce and 1 of “tom thumb” butter lettuce. the left head of 4 seasons grew in the shade, and the right one grew in the sun. so the more light it gets, the redder it turns! as it warms up, apparently the green color changes to more of a yellow-green. it’s like a time-lapse thermometer sort of.

i had a little extra time on lunch one day, so i went to the garden and picked a handful of lettuce and took it back to the office for lunch. no dressing. it tasted just as good as it looks. (the tomatoes are from trader joes. mine aren’t ready yet)

lolla rossa “majesty” lettuce. the outside leaves are frilly and red and the interiors are lime green.

back to business: The Best Ghostbuster

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 19:10:29 -0800

Me: QUICK WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE GHOSTBUSTERS
Me: DON'T THINK, JUST SAY IT
Heather: WHAT DO YOU MEAN MEMBER OR WHICH CARTOON I LIKE BETTER
Heather: I LIKE THE ONE WITH THE MONKEY
Me: NO
Heather: FAILING THAT I LIKE THE ONE THAT IS BILL MURRAY
Me: REAL DUDES
Heather: IS THAT RAY
Me: THE REAL REAL GHOSTBUSTERS
Heather: i cant remember his name
Heather: its bill murray
Me: ah, Howard Zeddemore
Heather: howard!
Heather: crap
(Time Passes)
Me: heather, I have a confession

rob delaney gets it/i get semi-serious

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 15:52:12 -0800

rob delaney gets it/i get semi-serious:

The passing of Andrew Koenig prompted me to write this, but it’s something that will apply to plenty of people.

I have dealt with suicidal, unipolar depression and I take medication daily to treat it. On two separate occasions over the past seven years, I’ve had two episodes that were severe…

Rob Delaney is a good guy and a good comic who lives here in LA. we talk sometimes, mostly about hobo-themed repetitive stress injuries. (long story) recently a mutual friend/acquaintance named Andrew Koenig disappeared and committed suicide in Vancouver BC. this has shocked and saddened so many people around here. Rob wrote a lovely piece on depression and i wanted to add my thoughts to it. so here they are, reposted from “a special internet message board dot net”

—-

i didn’t want to post this but if it helps someone out there then i feel like i really should say it. i lost my dad to suicide, brought on in part by bipolar disorder, in 2001. he was 45 and i was 16. even after being hospitalized twice to deal with the aftereffects of grief, trauma, depression, all that whiny crap etc., i still refused to take my own medication consistently or be under a doctor’s care for about 8 years. a lot of it was ridiculously awful, and there were days and weeks where i couldn’t get out of bed or leave the house. a lot of days, the only talking i could do was to my friends on AST. last year i decided i had finally had enough, or i got enough of a kick in the ass from my friends/family to take care of myself, or i got tired of feeling like a hypocrite - maybe all 3 - anyway, i’ve been back under a doctor’s care since november. i feel like i kind of robbed myself of almost 10 years of my life for not really any good reason.

i’m saying this because i also had the realization in january that if i only live to be as old as my dad, then that means i have less than 20 years to kick ass and be awesome. one of the things about suicide is it will absolutely mess up your friends and family for a long time. but the other thing is it will also remind your friends and family in the most horrible way possible that they also have a limited time on this planet, and they need to make the most of it, especially because their loved one can’t make the most of it anymore. in a way it was almost like some sort of sick gift. i don’t know how to explain it without sounding like some sort of macabre motherfucker. if there’s two things you learn when someone close to you commits suicide, it’s that EVERYONE that person was close to is affected, and that a lot more people will be hurt by it than the person ever could have realized.

basically, everything rob said in his thing, you should really take to heart. depression can be dealt with. you’re not going to feel like this forever. also, writing all this down made me kind of want to puke, but whatever. i hope it helps someone.

i can't believe someone thought it was a good idea to let me on the radio again

Wed, 17 Feb 2010 14:02:24 -0800

dailyclaw:

Radio Jerks is free from it’s 90s grips, but loses someone in its wake. Luke Maxwell will no longer being doing the show, but I have a fantastic guest co-host in Heather to replace him. If it goes well I might make her permanent, so let’s hope for the best! I have complete confidence in her. Gives us a second shot!

the closest thing i have to an arranged planting - i tried to...

Tue, 16 Feb 2010 10:08:53 -0800

the closest thing i have to an arranged planting - i tried to make the lettuce planting in curves and rows here. little gem (romaine), tom thumb (butterhead), 4 seasons (butterhead), majesty (red looseleaf) and a bed of more 4 seasons in back. also 2 chinese cabbages that are slowly getting cabbage-like. (february 14, 2010)

not at the garden, but at my office. sometimes i love la....

Tue, 16 Feb 2010 09:51:34 -0800

not at the garden, but at my office. sometimes i love la. (february 9, 2010)

the end of the 90s on tonight's RADIO JERKS

Thu, 11 Feb 2010 15:06:41 -0800

dailyclaw:

Radio Jerks will be on one hour later tonight because I have to take care of some bullshit. Also, is it obvious this is a mashup of Fred Durst and Darth Maul?

small setback

Thu, 11 Feb 2010 12:18:00 -0800

i went up to the roof to water the lettuce and cauliflower i started about 2 weeks ago, and i think one of the neighbor kids tore off all the lettuce leaves for me. they stacked them nicely in a pile next to the flat of sprouts. ugh. i brought the stems and peat pods to work so i could try to rip the stems out and reuse them, but i might end up just throwing them away. i’ve got 200 coconut coir pods coming in the mail in a few days anyway. coco coir is a renewable alternative to peat moss that has some advantages and disadvantages of its own. mainly, it’s cheaper and it doesn’t take decades or centuries to grow.

it’s very frustrating - i’ve been having a stressful week and i was getting really excited about being able to plant all that stuff on sunday. i’ve had it up on the roof for weeks and nobody’s touched it at all. that lettuce only had 3 days til retirement and a gold watch :( I WILL AVENGE YOU MY BABIES

thoughts on 100 days of gardening

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 11:28:31 -0800

i guess in retrospect it should have been obvious that when it is COLDER stuff grows SLOWER. if i were subsistence farming i would be vulture food about 6 times by now.

so far there doesn’t seem to be such a thing as too much lettuce.

birds can tell between cabbage and lettuce. i know this because they’ve tried to eat every cabbage or cabbage-related vegetable (bok choy, cauliflower, chinese cabbage which i guess is like regular cabbage but oh i don’t know insert some racist joke about chinese people here. internet racism is tired, right? we’re done with that? cool) that i have planted and left all the lettuce to thrive. and yet if you asked a random shopper at the grocery store to tell you the difference between a head of cabbage and a head of iceberg lettuce, i’m sure the answer would be “the cabbage doesn’t taste very good with ranch dressing on it”. how do birds do this?

(we just don’t know)

HOW WAS I TO KNOW THAT NOBODY WHO IS ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN GROWING FOOD SPENDS ANY TIME AT ALL ON THE INTERNET you’d think those a-holes were outside kickin dirt or somethin*

i am literally as old as the west hollywood garden. as far as i can tell, the norwich space is the oldest garden in the city and the only one that’s still currently open. how come nobody seems to know it’s there? there’s only 1 person i’ve talked to about the program who knew it was around before i got my space, and some of the people i’ve talked to have lived in this city for 10 or 15 years. it makes me wonder if there are secret gardens in other cities. norwich is a block from the pacific design center, which is this giant design school that people come from all over the place to attend, and literally one city block away there’s a cool garden hardly anyone knows about. i’m putting out an open invitation to any and all celebrities of any level - you need a place to hang out and hide for a little bit, let me know and we’ll go pick some peas and talk about stuff.

i’m pretty sure that my friends are all too polite to tell me that i sound like an angry hippie when i’m railing against the tyranny of corporate grocery stores and produce that has been made tasteless for middle america just like punk rock got turned into blink 182 oh golly here i go again

*i know there are actually a pretty good amount of gardening resources online, but by and large people who are interested in gardening go outside and garden and do not discuss it online. it’s like starting a forum for amish furniture discussion and wondering how come no furniture builders ever come post.

first flower from peas, planted 11/15/09 (85 days ago)

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 12:07:32 -0800

first flower from peas, planted 11/15/09 (85 days ago)

hey, i did this last week and it is one of my favorite things on...

Wed, 03 Feb 2010 13:52:31 -0800

hey, i did this last week and it is one of my favorite things on the internet right now. mark and jixby are funny dudes who are good at being funny radio dudes too!

dailyclaw:

We now take a break for me to mention that RADIO JERKS 90s marathon continues tomorrow with a look back at 1996 and 1997. The guest will be Sam, who has no last name (like Prince).

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/radio-jerks

You can listen to last week’s show in its entirety under “1994-1995 Part 1” and “Bill Corgan’s Music Video Hits”. That’s Part 2, I was a little bombed that night.

Forage LA seeking homegrown produce!

Wed, 03 Feb 2010 13:07:43 -0800

Forage LA seeking homegrown produce!:

Forage is a new restaurant in Silver Lake (apparently this is where plaid was invented?) that is trying something innovative - they will put out calls for locally grown ingredients and if you bring some in, they’ll make a meal with your produce!

the garden, day 90 (january 30, 2010)

Tue, 02 Feb 2010 11:36:45 -0800

the garden, day 90 (january 30, 2010)