so i left la. i was temporarily homeless, then i was temporarily couch-surfing, then i lived in a bug-filled cat pee-scented spare room for 3 days and was eaten alive by fleas, then i couch/floor-surfed some more, and then i finally made it to san diego and enjoyed the hell out of my second-to-last comic con ever. (i won’t go once they leave san diego in 2013.)

i made it to portland on july 28th. i found a (crappy) job and i started working on september 3rd. i’m told this is unheard of for the area. my first week, i got 39 hours. my second week, i got 20. this week, i have 15, and next week i have 9. i’m told everyone is making cutbacks. i keep applying for jobs. it’s like shouting into a vacuum.

i guess it’s my fault that i didn’t/couldn’t go to a real college, or that i wasn’t happy in la. maybe i should’ve been working in a restaurant instead of working in an office, or maybe i should have kept working at my office job even though i couldn’t find a consistent place to live. i don’t know what i could have done differently, i just know i should have done something differently. excuses.

i remain hopeful that things will turn around. i remain hopeful that one of these jobs i apply for will call me back and offer me more than 15 hours a week of steady work. if i can stick it out for 18 months, i can get oregon resident status, and i can try to go to college. if i can get enough work maybe i can save enough money and someday i might start a business or own a house. i could never afford to do either of those in california.

i know that someday soon i will have a garden again and a place of my own.